Mother's Day

Mother's Day is on the horizon and I've been thinking more about the moms of the world than I usually do.  Moms after all are the most frequent readers of my books and make up the lion share of my client list.   I know of no other job that is as difficult or has more consequences if you don't give it your full attention. I salute all the hard working moms of the world!

This week on Facebook at 'Regina Leeds, The Zen Organizer'  I'm posting daily tips for ways loved ones can honor mom.  You know something personal to add to the gift, flowers or brunch you're planning.  Cleaning up your room without being asked will probably give mom a boost as will creating an adventure for her. Come on over every day this week and feel free to add your ideas. We were reminded at the end of the Boston Marathon that life can change forever in a matter of seconds.  Never take mom for granted is the bottom line. Mother's Day 2013 won't come again.

My mother passed away when I was just past my 25th birthday after a 2 year battle with cancer.  In the middle of that journey my father died suddenly.  I was 'old' at 25 with more emotional blows than I ever imagined possible.  For many years I couldn't even look at the rows of Mother's Day cards in the stores without blubbering like a baby.  But now I celebrate all the women who have mothered me in one way or another and I eagerly look for ways to nurture others.  Ironically that's the central message of my Zen Organizing philosophy: get organized so your environment can nurture you and all the wonderful things you wish to accomplish.

Many women are looking forward to the birth of a baby this time of year.  If you know anyone in this happy state consider gifting her with a copy of One Year to an Organized Life with Baby.  Mother of 5 Meagan Francis and I created this guide for pregnant couples and we stay with you until baby is 5 months old.  A virtual avalanche of stuff is coming your way from stuffed animals and 'onsies' to pregnancy clothes and nursery furniture.  If you don't get in control from the start it's going to be overwhelming. Besides one of the best gifts you can give your child is an organized environment: knowing how to get and stay organized is really the ultimate gift that keeps on giving.

Finally let me share that May has been designated 'Be Kind to Animals' month.  I hope we are always kind to animals but reminders are wonderful.  If you are the 'mother' of a dog, cat or other lucky creature I hope you too have a special day.  May you and your fur babies celebrate in some special way.  In fact come over to Facebook and let me know what you have planned.  Love comes in many forms and being grateful for it is all that matters.

Woman's World Magazine ~

The April 15 issue of Woman's World Magazine has quotes from me in one of their regular columns.  They have graciously given me permission to share the piece with you.  Enjoy.  Be inspired.  Pick up the magazine!

Did you forget something, Dr. Oz?

Every day I record Dr. Oz's show.  Like most women in America I adore him.   How many Western trained doctors much less surgeons include nutrition, yoga and meditation in their practice?  I was lucky enough to be introduced to 'alternative' medicine by my internist Dr. Soram Khalsa who was recently a guest on the show.  Through Dr. Soram I became involved in Traditional Chinese Medicine which I feel saved my life almost 11 years ago when I was diagnosed with third stage uterine cancer.  Yes, I had surgery and chemotherapy.  In fact it was Dr. Soram and my Chinese doctor the wonderful Linda Zhang, DOM, PhD who insisted I do the Western and Eastern protocols simultaneously. Chinese medicine has identified over 100 anti-cancer herbs that are in effect 'natural chemotherapy' and I use them to this day. Meshing the wisdom of the ages with the advances of today seems to me the ideal way to go whether you are fighting for your life or merely seeking to maintain a high level of vitality.

While I was being introduced to alternative medicine I was blessed to meet practitioners from many of the healing arts.  It's funny in life how you think you are traveling down a specific road only to find you are actually headed to a surprise destination.  The worlds of yoga (the ancient teachings not just the postures) and Feng Shui have had an enormous influence in my life.  When my clients want to learn more about Feng Shui and how it can help them live richer, healthier lives, there is only one person I turn to ~ Ariel Joseph Towne, the Feng Shui Guy.  And guess what?  He too has been on Dr. Oz! We have so much control over our bodies and our environments it hurts me to see people throw away their health and ignore their environments. 

So what do I think Dr. Oz has forgotten?  Every day he offers ways to lose weight, get fit and be healthy.  But if your environment is in chaos or you have no clue how to go about inviting change into your life, what do you do? The deck is stacked against you.  Yes, I've seen the organizing segments to date.  But oh! Dr. Oz how I would like to create something with your team that would go deeper and help more people.  Will I get that chance, Dr. Oz?

Katie Couric gets organized ~

The Plea 

OK +Katie Couric you broke my heart.  You did a show on getting organized and never even called me.  Katie, I've been working with clients for 24 years and I've written 9 books on the topic including one New York Times best seller.  Please remember me for future shows. 

The Assessment

First of all let me say the organizer Katie's producers hired was experienced, compassionate and had a great team assisting him.  Television segments are very difficult because a big dramatic reveal has to come after a short amount of time and with minimal investment from the host or client.  I've been in that position and it's tough.  Unfortunately the 'slog through' process isn't sexy or interesting to watch but it's the reality. 

I think experienced professional organizers perform magic.  The magic we perform is by understanding the mind, heart and soul of the client so that they are free to release what they no longer need.  Some clients have suffered a trauma that caused them to hold on to everything while others never learned the skill of getting organized in their home of origin.  And those are just the most common culprits for holding on when letting go would free you.  When you understand what created the current reality you are free to change it to suit today's needs.   

Professional organizers create beautiful, functional spaces based on how the client thinks.  Do they need to see everything to remember to deal with it or can it all be put away because the client remembers the location?  In old movies we see someone constantly shoveling coal into a fire to keep the train moving forward on the track.  Decisions fuel the Organizing Train and keep it moving forward.  The client needs to be the decision maker in order to avoid any regrets.  When it's time to put the pieces of the puzzle together the client can exit the scene and later experience a 'big reveal' of their own!

Transform Your Office

Here are 10 quick ideas taken from One Year to an Organized Life that will make an immediate difference in your physical space.  Once you're more comfortable you can tackle those paper piles that bedevil you at every turn.  You'll find detailed instructions for creating a file system in my book.  Everybody needs one whether it's a bank of file cabinets or a beautiful rattan box in the corner of the living room.

1.     Take a look at your office walls.  Is it time for a fresh coat of paint? Or does that old wallpaper beg to be removed?  A dreary atmosphere won’t inspire you to do your best.

2.     What about the window treatments? Is it time for a change? Are the windows clean?  Windows are the ‘eyes’ of the room.  Keep them inviting! You’ll want as much natural light as possible to flood the room.  By the way have you checked the light bulbs in your lamps? This is a great time to do a home inspection of light bulbs, fire and carbon monoxide alarms and the battery in your home alarm system. You can add any items unique to your situation like a baby monitor.

3.     Do you need a touch of life in the office or have plants overwhelmed the space? What about family photos or a treasured collection?  Your work area in this room should be devoted to the projects you need to accomplish from bill paying to writing the great American novel. Don’t allow photos, plants or hobby miscellaneous to make it impossible for you to easily accomplish the task at hand.

4.     Could you keep Staples stocked in pens, pencils, highlighters and paper clips? Very often we buy small items in bulk at the local home store not realizing that we can’t possibly use up these items in our lifetime. Make a donation to your child’s school or a favorite non-profit. If you have a closet in this room pop a small bookcase in and use the shelves for office supplies. You won’t need all the items you decide to keep on your desk.

5.     Is your desk too small or is it a space hog?  Take advantage of the big home sales and get the desk that will truly serve you.  And what about an ergonomically correct chair?  And while we’re tackling the basics do you have at least one two-drawer file cabinet? Don’t get the cheapest if it means flimsy and soon to disintegrate. And finally what about your computer? Is it time to 86 the one you have and start using a laptop to save space and provide mobility? Above all else you need to have a system for back up. You don’t want a mechanical malfunction to rob you of precious data.

6.     Do you keep your printer close to your desk or do you have to walk across the room when you print out a document?  Do you keep paper handy to refill your printer in a flash? We lose precious time when we don’t set ourselves up to win.  Wasted steps squander one of our most precious resources ~ our time.

7.     Is this home office one with a dual purpose?  The most common combo is a home office and guest room. Do you have the space appropriately divided for each activity to be performed here? The most common culprit I find with this combo type is a large bed that’s rarely used but eating up valuable real estate.  Why not consider a futon or Murphy bed?

8.     This is a great time of year to clean out your files.  Too often material that should be archived or shredded lingers in a file cabinet for years while the current papers float around the room landing on chairs, couches and window sills in search of a home.  Give your projects the respect they deserve.

9.     Do you have enough bookcases? Is it time to weed through your collection and perhaps gift the local hospital, assisted living facility or the library with some books so that you have room for the ones you’ll need in the future?

10.  A happy person is always a more productive one. Is there anything in this room that makes you smile?  Do you enjoy being here or do you run out at the least provocation? See if you can identify one element that you could add (or one that you could eliminate!) that would make your heart sing to be in this room. If Fido and Fifi spend time here with you be sure you see to their comfort.  A soft bed and a few toys cost pennies but make our best friends feel appreciated and loved.

I welcome your questions here, at my Facebook page ‘Regina Leeds, The Zen Organizer or on Twitter. And that means you too, +Katie Couric  

Here's a link to One Year to an Organized Life at Amazon.  You can order the paperback or download the Kindle version.


http://www.amazon.com/Year-Organized-Life-Week---Week/dp/1600940560/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1364411373&sr=8-1&keywords=one+year+to+an+organized+life

Recently I was asked for 'three secrets of the organized.'  I thought I'd share what came to mind:

Secrets of the well organized:

1.     They make decisions. 

Every orphan item in your home represents an unmade decision. Decision-making is not only the engine that drives getting organized it’s where the power lies.

2.     They know how to make and use lists.

It’s helpful to write down everything you wish to accomplish.  But it’s important to understand the difference between critical items and those that can be scheduled for a later time.

3.     They start small.

It takes 21 consecutive days of repeating an action before it becomes a habit. Start making your bed every day. Put your keys in the same spot the minute you walk into your home. Seemingly simple actions like these build self esteem and positively influence those with whom you live and work.

_______________________________________________________________________________

As I look at this list I really believe it holds the key to success. Do you have piles of anything in your home?  The big culprits are clothing and papers.  They are nothing more than delayed decisions stacking up to remind you that you need to decide the fate of these orphans. It may indeed be difficult at first if you are used to delaying decisions but after a bit you'll find it's quite addicting.  Why?  Because decisions hold power and the ability to control your environment. We can't control others but we can keep what we own and use under control.  Try it.  There is no downside!

I have an entire chapter on the power of lists in my newest book 'The 8-Minute Organizer.' How to make them and how to use them will help you be instantly more effective in life. One big Master List carried with you day after day will only produce guilt.  It's too easy to feel like a failure.  Lists are great tools but you need to understand how to make and use them. A hammer is a great tool but it's useless if you don't understand how to use it.  Right?

You'll discover that getting organized isn't Rocket Science.  It's actually fun and VERY creative. Dive in.  What have you got to lose but all those pre-conceived notions that have been weighing you down for decades.

Three Keys to Remember When the Urge to Merge Hits!

I think we're most powerful in life when we see connections.  No activity becomes a moment of drudgery if it is part of a greater whole.  At the end of my current blog post for Psychology Today which is dedicated to the importance of chores for kids,  I wrote:

Being able to take care of a home has many applications beyond chores for our children.  We become better houseguests.  Who doesn’t love a relative or friend who spontaneously takes out the trash after dinner?  In the current economic climate we may find ourselves moving back home with our parents or welcoming relatives who have fallen on tough times.  Don’t we all appreciate the ‘housebroken’ adult who makes his bed, does his own laundry and leaves the bathroom in pristine condition? 

What about the college freshman faced with life in a dorm?  I’d rather be the mom of the kid who teaches his friends how to do laundry than the one who drives home most weekends so I can do it for him.  And of course there are first apartments, marriages and travel.  The merging scenarios are virtually endless each full of twists and turns in the ancient story of harmoniously bringing together divergent styles, possessions and life habits.  I’ve got lots more tips in my new e-book called The Urge to Merge.  Let me know how you like it and how it helped your family.

Living with other human beings is tough even when we love them!  What can we do to make life easier when we've been thrust into a situation with folks whose styles are very different from our own?  Here are three things I think work a bit of magic.

• Commitment 

Everybody in the mix needs to be on the same page and headed in the same direction. It's got to be a 'we're all in this together and we want to succeed' effort or else petty grievances, jealousies and resentments may rule the day.  And they never take us to a good outcome.

• Communication

Human beings are borderline hilarious in their ability to convince themselves that they know THE way to accomplish a task.  Doubt me?   Try loading the dishwasher at someone else's home and see how well you do!  The family culture will have a set way to put dishes away.  (There's a scene devoted to this madness in the movie Rachel Getting Married that captures the drama beautifully).  There will no doubt be 'rules' about how to load the trunk of a car, do laundry and cut grass.  Instead of assuming that your house mates are crackers open a dialogue. After all, we're all assuming we do it right.

• Compromise

I saved the best for last, didn't I? Have an open mind.  You want to use your grandmother's good dishes for Thanksgiving and your new husband assumes his grandmother's dishes are superior.  Remember that there are several big holiday meals during the course of the year.  You will have ample opportunities to showcase both grandmas ..er dish sets.  Why not set a schedule now so you take the guesswork and the hurt feelings out of days that are meant to be festive? Sharing space affords us ample opportunities to compromise.  

Children Will Listen

Stephen Sondheim was right: children will listen, watch and absorb lessons we never intended to teach. The three C's will on the other hand give children useful life tools.  And you don't have to lecture.  You just have to set the example by using them effectively. The three C's are tools that can be taken to school, used in friendship and dating and ultimately used in the boardroom as easily as they are used in the home. Think about that when Uncle Harry has put the butter on the 'incorrect' shelf in the refrigerator or Cousin Susie has cut bizarre patterns into the grass. 

At the heart of this discord is very often a fear: we don't necessarily believe we have invented the perfect way to do things; you're convinced you were taught the perfect way by mom.  The problem of course is that our mom wasn't capable of nurturing the world so a lot of moms and assumptions are behind most arguments.  I think that blind allegiance to anyone or anything doesn't work as well as a willingness to create fresh new solutions.  After all there is every hope that's exactly what mom would encourage us to do!

I've got a new e-book that deals exclusively with all the ups and downs of merging households.  It's called The Urge to Merge because throughout our lives we're doing just that ~ from your baby brother taking over your room to the kids coming home from college there's a whole lot a mergin' going on out there.  Why not do it with grace, intelligence and wisdom?

Creative Visualization ~
    .... the unexpected organizing tool!

We live in a cause & effect world.  

Are you drowning in chaos?  News flash: you created it. Every time you throw another piece of paper onto a pile, toss an article of clothing on the back of a chair or banish something to the garage, you are working that chaotic set-up as if you enjoyed the results.  It is amazing how loyal people can be to systems that destroy their ability to work efficiently.  

You can shift your mental, emotional and physical worlds to create a reality that supports your goals rather than continuing in one that thwarts your best efforts at every turn. After all if YOU created what you see now YOU can create something different and better in its place.

With creative visualization you have the opportunity to see your new reality in your mind's eye before you bring it into physical reality. Teenage girls enjoy imagining what a special date will be like.  Young professionals picture an important business meeting going in their favor. Pregnant women try to imagine their delivery and the new child about to enter their lives forever. A young jock will envision a big play on the football field.  

You get the idea.

In other words creative visualization may sound exotic and foreign to you until you realize you've been doing it all your life. When it comes to your organizing projects why not see yourself easily completing the steps involved? Why not imagine yourself enjoying the newly organized space? See clearly how your new circumstances benefit others in your life.

You're probably more adept at imagining the worst possible outcome.  Change your focus and yes, you can change your environment and your life.  What have you got to lose? Nothing but wasted emotional energy and a lot of unwanted stuff.