The Story of the Grunions ~

Grunions are small fish who appear once a year off California beaches.  It is possible to catch them in containers they way children back East might capture fire flies in a jar. Many years ago a friend of mine told me this story. "When I was 18 I took a girl to my high school prom in my father's brand new Cadillac. After the prom my date wanted to go to the beach and capture grunions.  Like any dutiful 18 year old boy, I took her and we quickly scored a bag of the tiny fish.  We tucked the treasure into the glove compartment of my father's car.  There were several stops before the night ended and you can guess what happened.  The grunions were forgotten! Within two weeks the unmistakable stench of dead fish emanated from the glove compartment.  Needless to say, my father almost killed me!"

Now what does this have to do with your piles of papers or your messy closet?  Everything! My friend was a therapist and used this story to illustrate the importance of dealing with our emotional issues.  "If you don't," he would say, "they'll fester like the unseen, rotting fish and have a profound effect on your life." Piles of messy clothes and stacks of untended papers will swirl their chaotic energy around you like an evil spell.  It will be difficult to think clearly.  You will feel mildly depressed when you're in your home or work environment.  It will be hard to work there whether your task is washing dishes or drafting contracts.

What's behind your chaos?

  

Are you like my mother?

My mother instilled in me the need to be orderly.  I have never thrown clothes on the floor nor left dishes stacked in the sink. Had I done so in my mother's house, even as an adult, her sizable Lebanese hand would have whacked my bottom soundly. Interestingly, my mother was driven by a different set of needs than I was when it came to our personal environment.   She was overly concerned with what other people thought about her. The parts of the house that you could see where absolutely perfect.

However the inner structure was in chaos.  I was appalled by the state of my mother's closets and drawers.  "What difference does it make?" she would say. "No one can see the mess!"  This is where we parted philosophical company.  I never saw a difference between the inner and the outer environment.  I wanted everything in order because it made me feel calmer.  Work was easier to accomplish in this ordered universe.  Filing for me wasn't a problem because I set the files up to yield their treasures and absorb additional information. I didn't have stacks of orphan papers on every surface of my room.  Getting dressed was a creative adventure because all my clothes were neatly organized in categories and by color.  In my mother's "perfect to behold" bedroom, clothes lived in secret chaos.  They were thrown into dresser drawers or jammed into her closet.  You get the picture.

As a professional organizer I view the entire space as one unified whole that is capable of influencing our ability to function. 

Next time: The Story of the Grunions

Do you delegate and mentor or shoulder the responsibility of the home and office?

Recently I was reminded of the time my regular assistant was out of town for a few weeks.  She and I function as one.  I can say 'Please organize the closet' and offer no direction.  I know in advance she will do exactly what I would in this situation. Of course we've been working together for over 10 years and at the start there were a lot of discussions!

I had someone help me during the time Tanya was away who is organized and had worked with me from time to time in the past. She wasn't a stranger to my ways but we were by no means a well oiled team.  What a lesson I learned! The reason we feel we can't let go control and need to do it all ourselves is because we are not good mentors.  We assume people will fill in the blanks and understand all the details. Delegating is as much about mentoring as mentoring is about communication.

When we teach others we not only free ourselves we better understand the task at hand because nothing is left to chance. 

Banish 'Sneaky Clutter!'

I have a new personal project. 

As you might imagine I love to surf the web doing research. What do people need to know? Who are the other top organizers? Are there any new books I should know about? I am also a passionate animal advocate and I love to travel. There's lots to learn! 

As I surf I very often sign up for newsletters. But lately I feel that it can be overwhelming. I realized this week that some of these e-mails have got to go. But websites don't want to lose you so hitting the unsubscribe button often takes you to a series of steps that must be performed before they release you.  Some companies ply you with guilt when you hit the unsubscribe button. 'Are you sure you want to unsubscribe?' 'How about less frequent e-mails?' On and on it goes until I feel as if I'm breaking up with some guy who doesn't 'get' that it's over.

And that's my project for this long holiday weekend: I'm sifting through my in box very carefully and releasing the majority of the information that comes to me. I started last evening and guess what came up for me? A feeling of loss! I've changed my viewpoint and now I feel excited and very relieved. What did I change? I moved from a feeling of loss to one of anticipation. I'm making room in my in box for newsletters I haven't yet discovered. I am excited.

Your in box is a place for sneaky clutter. Would you like to join me this Memorial Day weekend? If you devote 8 minutes a day by Monday morning your in box will be a lean machine ready to focus on whatever is next and best for you. 

February ~ Cuddle and Create

As this holiday approaches I'm always mystified by our outward focus as a society.  We concentrate on what we can do or pretend to be in order to attract the so called love of our lives. Watch TV for an evening and you will discover that the right shampoo, automobile or detergent is the secret elixir of love.  But if we are hollow inside what are we offering and who will we attract? It would be exhausting and near impossible to play act for an entire lifetime, don't you agree?

Getting organized isn't a task for a few afternoons a year.  For me it's a life skill and part and parcel of who I am as a human being.  Have you been to the movies lately or watched a new television program? A set designer has worked with the director and the writer to create a physical setting that tells the audience a lot about the character(s) without a single word being spoken. What does this mean to you?

Take a walk around the block and come back and see what your environment is saying about you. It may be time to get organized this holiday so that the message you are broadcasting is one of high self-esteem and healthy self-love. If your relationship is in the early stages wouldn't that be a wonderful message to broadcast and receive?  In One Year to an Organized Life I've got a bevy of projects for you to choose from and an entire month devoted to the bedroom. I hope yours is a true sanctuary.

And if you're part of an old married couple see what you can do to the environment to spiff it up.  Personally I think that new sheets are a lot sexier than a garment meant to seduce that will be off my body in minutes.  In the same vein stacks of books around a bed aren't very inviting.  Why not invest in an inexpensive bookcase and give those treasured friends a proper home. What obstacles to intimacy do you find in your bedroom when you look with 'fresh eyes?'

Let me know if you tackled any projects in your home in honor of St. Valentine.

Happy Holidays

Have you ever carefully crafted a message on a computer only to hit an incorrect key and watch it all vanish?  Well, you aren't alone.  I just did that to my holiday message.  Let's see how much I can recreate from memory. Yes even professional organizers can be technical morons. We're human too!

The most important part of my message was to wish you all a very happy holiday. It's mid-December and, if you didn't get your ducks in a row for this holiday celebration, remember that you can take stock before the New Year and make better plans for holiday season 2012. Literally make notes about your experience.  Next year you may not remember the details and you will be in jeopardy of making the same errors in judgment about time, money and emotions.  We can't ever rest on our laurels or our failures.  Every day a brand new experience waits for you to carefully and lovingly craft it.  

Here is one of my favorite quotes ~

All things have their season, and in

their times all things pass under

heaven.  A time to be born and a time

to die; a time to plant, and a time to

pluck up that which is planted.

Ecclesiastes, chapter 3

I'm not going to decorate this year. I wish I had the time because I haven't had a tree in years.  But I am working on revising my second book (now out of print) and re-issuing it early in 2012 as an e-book only publication.  I'll tell you more about it after the holidays when I have an official publication date.  

I do know that in May my ninth book is coming out from Da Capo Lifelong Books (a division of Perseus Publishing).  It's called (drum roll, please) The 8 Minute Organizer and it's for those who want to get their feet wet in the world of organizing but know that a one year commitment is beyond their interest ~ at least for now! There will be more about 8 Minute after the first.

Long hours in front of the computer take their toll. I had to shake up my schedule.  Now I have three days of organizing right before Christmas with one of my all time favorite clients and then a week of non stop play.  You see I take the concept of rewards very seriously. I hope this holiday you are surrounded by those you love and celebrating in perfect health.  May you give and receive meaningful gifts.  

New ways to find me!

Greetings!

I'm delighted you are interested in my work.  I've become a monthly blogger for two popular sites.  You can visit both as I'll be sharing different tips and tricks at each location: www.TheClosetFactory.com and www.PsychologyToday.com.  I think you will enjoy the material and learn a lot of useful tips for your everyday life. There are direct links at my website to the current articles.

It's November 2011 and while all of us are thinking about Thanksgiving, I've got a big trip coming up first.  I'm off to San Francisco,  New York City and Miami Beach.  As you might imagine I'm devoting some time to clothing options and those ever necessary cosmetics and vitamins.  The latter take far more time to choose and pack than my clothing ever does.

My maternal grandmother never learned to read or write and yet she spoke five languages like a native and traveled the world.  She used to say 'If you have a tongue in your head and feet that move, you can go anywhere.'  My grandmother had wanderlust and while it skipped all 8 of her children, it flows in the veins of her grandchildren.  I'm always ready to hop on a plane and have an adventure. I have traveled the world since I was 17 and rarely had to check a bag.  My small suitcase is a true workhorse.  It fits in the overhead bin.  It's light and easy to pull. I may not have a vast wardrobe with me but I always feel free.

Happy Turkey Day!  As a vegetarian I can assure you that the bird doesn't make the holiday.  Good food, great friends & family and a huge dose of gratitude will. If you are hosting Thanksgiving and feeling a bit at sea the 11th chapter in One Year to an Organized Life will help you with step by step tips for the day from yours truly and the wonderful Chef Tanya.  You can also find tips for packing light in the month devoted to travel.  I've got you covered!